Mozzies don't read English
by Lilly flower forever
Summary: In which James Potter puts up signs and Lily tells him that mosquitoes don't read English. An interesting debate follows...


**Hi! This is an idea I have had for quite some time. Well, since January. It all began when I myself had a similar discussion... Well in my head really.**

 **And here is me wondering whether mosquitoes are smart and if they read and write and if they do is it English? Or what?! Mosquito is such a weird word! Is 'mozzie' something we Australians call it? Like a slang term?**

 **I've confused myself now. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Um... You guys KNOW I don't own Harry Potter. At least, you should know by now...**

 **...**

James hummed as he happily put up signs around the school ground outside. He heard footsteps then, "Mozzies don't read English." Lily declared.

James turned around and looked at her curiously. He then looked back at his handiwork. "Yes they do." He corrected her.

Lily glared at the sign in James' hand. It read, NO MOSQUITOES ALLOWED ON THIS PREMISES'. "No they don't." Lily repeated.

"Then what do they read?" James asked, testing her.

Looking thoughtful, Lily guessed, "Um... Mosquito?"

"Oh ok..."

"Yes. Now you better take those signs down because they aren't going to make any sense to the mosquitoes." Lily said, hands on her hips and a frown on her face.

James thought of a solution quickly. "But what if they are really smart mosquitoes and they could read English?" He grinned cheekily.

"But they are not smart!" Lily cried. "Not as smart as humans..."

Tilting his head James asked, "Then how do we know that they even read at all?"

"Because we just do!" Lily exclaimed.

"But mosquitoes aren't smart and they can't read" James contradicted.

"They could." Lily said sounding uncertain.

James stuck the sign in his hand onto a nearby tree. "But have you ever seen a mosquito write something?" He questioned.

Lily thought for a minute. "No..."

James grinned. "Exactly! Because they can't."

Lily glared at him. Who says mosquitoes can't. Just because she had never seen one write before didn't mean that they couldn't. "Weren't we talking about if they could read or not?" She asked irritably.

"We were. But reading and writing are almost the same thing."

"No they are not! They are entirely different." Lily protested.

James shook his head. "It doesn't matter. If mosquitoes can read anything it's going to be English." He was convinced.

Lily grinned this time. "They could be Japanese mosquitoes, you know." She pointed out.

"But they are not." James disagreed.

"You cant prove that for certain!" Lily pronounced.

James waved his hand and absently put up another poster. "No... But who can?"

"Then who can prove that mosquitoes even read or write?" Lily countered.

"I don't know... I haven't seen a mosquito use a pencil before. Do you think they would be very tiny pencils?" James' cheeky grin had returned.

"What? No, because they can't write!" Lily exclaimed.

"You know what? I'm confused now. I think I will just use insect repellent instead of putting up signs to tell them to go away." James mumbled.

"Good idea..." Lily said, turning around and marching away.

MEANWHILE...

Two mosquitoes hovered nearby, grinning. "Oh if only they knew..." One of them whispered squeakily to the other.

"Ah yes... What a shock they would get."

"Although it is a rather frequent argument isn't it?"

"What is?"

"You know. All over the world people wonder whether we are smart and if we can read. I myself am rather fluent in several languages..."

"Ah! I wonder if anyone will actually ever find out?"

"Nah... Humans are dumb, they can't understand 'mosquito', as they like to call it."

The two mosquitoes, Bert and Bill they were, buzzed near James' ear. "After all, they haven't figured out yet that insect repellant does nothing to 'repel' us..."

 **...**

 **Stupid mosquitoes!**

 **Hope you liked this little random story!**

 **See you guys soon!**

 **Thanks to the guest who told me about the weird number thingies that were hiding the text! I forgot to check it... But it hopefully fixed it now!**


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